I take back roads on my way to work, and the other day I noticed some pretty yellow wildflowers along the road. I love having fresh flowers in the house, and my previous bouquet had gone bad so I had the brilliant idea to pick some and bring them home (they were not in anyone's yard, nor were they planted by the county - they really were flowers growing wild. I promise I didn't steal them from anyone!). Well, when I had cut them and put them in water in a mason jar as a vase, it was obvious they are wildflowers and didn't look quite as nice as the hydrangea and dhalias. I still thought they looked cute though, in a disheveled-daisy-kind-of-way, so I left them on the table next to my pumpkin. I was so proud of myself for finding a fresh bouquet for free! Until last night. That's when I realized that wildflowers may have been a bad choice. It has been two days since I brought them into my house, and now surrounding the mason jar is a circle of bright yellow pollen that is continuing to drop from the flowers, making a mess on my table and fall placemats. I guess these cute little wildflowers are gonna have to go.
This got me thinking about how life in general is imperfect and doesn't always go according to plan. Throughout my apartment this is so obvious - right now my bedroom looks like an explosion of laundry, half of which needs to be washed, the other half is already washed but in a laundry basket so the clothes probably now have permanent wrinkles from sitting in there so long. My bathroom, though now organized, has gotten dirty once again and definitely needs a good scrubbing. My dishdrain and dishwasher are full of dishes that need to be put away. Our kitchen table is covered with bills, magazines, and random mail we needed to take care weeks ago. Oh, and don't forget the wildflower pollen has gotten into that mess as well (I still have yet to clean that up). Yeah, so a lot of imperfections...
To add to all that, last night my husband and I were getting settled in front of the TV to eat dinner and catch up on some of our favorite shows, and I don't even know how it happened but I knocked over my pink Mike's Hard Lemonade and completely doused a good portion of the carpet. Instead of having a peaceful and relaxing night, we ended spending a good 45 minutes trying to figure out how to clean the carpet and get rid of the stain. There may or may not have been a fight somewhere in there, too, with maybe a little bit of yelling, because we are human, and definitely very imperfect.
I could go on to say that everything "doesn't have to be perfect," "life is so much more interesting with the imperfections," and "it's the imperfections that make you you." And yes, life is definitely more interesting because of the imperfections, and my life is so much more full because I am surrounded by so many unique people who are not all just like me. But the truth is there is a part of me that still gets frustrated with my flaws, and while I have a strong desire to do things the right way, I simply just can't all the time. And that is so frustrating. I can't rely on a quote or a mantra to give me to right attitude to just let it go, as the world might tell me to do. No, I have a greater comfort: the fact that my Savior loves me in spite of all my imperfections. Not because I'm going to "try to do better next time," or after I have already cleaned up the mess. But He loves me through it all. So much that He offers it over and over again to me before I'm even ready to apologize.
I guess I just wanted to share a little bit of what's on my heart right now, and remind you that if you're feeling imperfect, know that I am, too. Very much so. But the amazing thing is that we're covered by the grace of a God who loves us so much. I am so thankful for that.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend, and while it may or may not be perfect, know that you are loved in spite of your imperfections.